I WATCH VERY LITTLE NEWLY PRODUCED TV, and in particular no sit-coms. For one thing, I find canned laughter annoying. On the other hand, I am an enthusiast of SiriusXM “Radio Classics,” The Jack Benny Show, Duffy’s Tavern, Burns and Allen, Fibber McGee and Molly, and the like. Somehow, laughter on these seems more natural (studio audiences?). And the comedic writing is rich in originality. Indeed, some of the best lines occur in non-comedic settings.
Being something of a student of Old-time Radio, I have collected favorite lines, several of which have appeared here at SimanaitisSays. Here (I confess to some repetition) are tidbits about these.
Lines Calling for Setups. The Jack Benny Show is known for its well-wrought setups leading to one-liners later in the show. Some, like his legendary penny-pinching or The Horn Blows At Midnight movie, become recurring themes.
Benny’s “I’m thinking…” response to “Your money or your life!” is a classic.
Mary Livingstone’s May Company Job. Several recurring setups involved Jack’s real-life wife Mary Livingstone aka Sadie Marks née Sadya Marcowitz. She actually worked in a May Company department store in downtown Los Angeles. Wikipedia recounts that a courting Benny “visited her at the May Company almost daily and was reputed to buy so much ladies’ hosiery from her that he helped her set a sales record.”
Mary joked regularly that the May Company would always welcome her back.
Mary Livingstone and Jack Benny, 1939. Image from NBC Radio via Wikipedia.
Mary’s Physician Crush. The show’s writers sensed there were more comedic opportunities with Mary as a radio friend rather than spouse. On one show, Mary says she has developed a crush on the young handsome doctor who recently removed her tonsils. Later in the show, Jack ogles over another woman, and Mary says, “What’s she got that I haven’t got?”
“Tonsils,” the other woman says.
Fibber McGee and Gildersleeve. In August 1941 The Great Gildersleeve became the first major program to be spun off an earlier one. Prior to this, Gildersleeve was a McGee neighbor, the two guys getting into regular squabbles about one thing or another. In one, they argue about youthful membership in the Scouts: Fibber claims, “They say you didn’t even know the Owlets’ password!”
“Who …?” says Gildersleeve. “Somebody musta told you,” Fibber responds.
Vote for Gracie! The Burns and Allen Show also had clever writing. “Gracie Allen for President” was a continuing setup during the 1940 Presidential campaign, with the theme song, “Vote for Gracie!/ Vote for Gracie!/ She’s the best little skipper in the land./ Even big politicians don’t know what to do./ Gracie doesn’t know either,/ But neither do you.”
One-liners Sans Setups. Other great one-liners don’t require back-stories: One of my favorites comes from The Adventures of Sam Spade, Detective. He says to a woman pouring him a drink, “Yes, up to the lipstick mark.”
And there’s my oft-repeated citing of Philip Marlowe’s famous line: “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.”
Quips in Unexpected Places. I don’t remember the source, but I enjoy the dialogue between an innocent young thing and the Boston matron who asks her, “Where are you from, my dear?”
“I’m from Iowa,” the young thing responds brightly.
The matron corrects gently, “Here in Boston, my dear, we pronounce it ‘o-Hi-o.’ ”
And, in a “Radio Classics” Suspense tale, in no sense a comedy, a man and a woman are having a less than cordial discussion: “Well, I’ll be ….” he says. “Not soon enough,” she interrupts.
Now that’s a zinger. ds
© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2024